Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
