I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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