Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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