White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize