the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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