dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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