we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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