So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Kiss
Puke
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
