nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
