let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
