Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
