She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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