How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
