What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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