I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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