Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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