i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize