We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize