so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
