The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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