Your mouth is God's brothel.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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