He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
