I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
