youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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