I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
