why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
