break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
