Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
