If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
