i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
