dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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