My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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