ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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