We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
