oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
