meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
