You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize