I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
