Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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