I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
They have beer where we have blood.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
