First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
