Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize