i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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