some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
