he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
