So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
