Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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