Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
