Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
