I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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