She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
