I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
