Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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