ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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