i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize