OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
