Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
