when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
