He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
