So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
