i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
