Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
