Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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